Blog Archives

1/1/11!

12/31/2010

$keeter Braun-$chaus

Happy 2011! Yes, if you must know, I was up late drinking last night. Drinking cough syrup, that is, and ginger ale and Propel for hydration. There may have been a nip of blackberry brandy in there (which my Dad referred to as "laudnum," and kept in our childhood medicine chest, and always gave us when we had brutal bronchial congestion and cough), but I was so delirious with fever and busy helping Roo aim his vomit projectiles, well...I may have missed the moment of pleasurable warmth and pain relief it gave me.

If you rang in the New Year wildly dancing in Times Square with Ke$ha (who's onstage announcement that we should "make 2011 our bitch" was truly inspiring) or making fun of us gentiles with your hipsterjew New Year remarks, well, keep it to yourself. If you felt old because you got home from your party by 9 and were in bed by 10, just remember that at least you went to the party and not the Walgreen's (Walgreen's, by the way, is the official sponsor of Dick Clark's New year's Rockin' Eve--true story).

Here's hoping 2011 is much less of a ruthless soul-sucker than 2010! God bless and good riddance 2010.

Add Comment

a visit from "Uncle" Jimbo

12/31/2010

0 Comments

a celebrity among uncles

Uncle Jimbo isn't really one of those uncles by blood, but sometimes that's the best kind of realtive: one you've been given by the gift of good fortune. He is a celebrity among uncles to our little lads. My friend Megan would call him a "funcle" for sure (Oh, did I mention that, just like a celebrity, everyone seems to know Uncle Jimbo?).

What Toe and Roo find most cool/loveable about Uncle J:

He lives "at the ocean" in California with Mickey Mouse and off-season vacationing snowbird Santa (apparently they are all great buddies and cruise together on the PCH in a blue Porsche convertable with the top down).

Uncle Jimbo tells the best eating stories. He travels all over the world for his job and always recounts how, for example, he had roasted guinea pig in Ecuador (but mistakenly forgot to eat the best part--the head) or went on a restaurant crawl through Greece with the minister of Greek education, or had trouble keeping down his lobster knuckle croissant during his cruise aboard the luxury liner used for UC's "Semester at Sea." Uncle Jimbo is not remiss in taking pictures of his food either, FYI. This is the sign of true kinship.

Uncle Jimbo always brings candy. Almond Roca candy, to be exact, in a mammoth 10 pound coffee can-like vat I have never seen for sale anywhere (Santa must have a special North Pole Costco he gets it from for Jimbo).

Uncle Jimbo always brings toys (most always model hot rod cars and exotic stuffies).

Uncle Jimbo always has a crispy couple of dollars ready when you nonchalantly present him with your half empty "jar of coins and monies."

Uncle Jimbo doesn't care if you are sick. He visits anyway, even if you accidentally puke on his Argyle sweater or pee on his shoe, he's there, playing Xbox Chicken Little while you sit on his lap and breathe pestilence all over him. When he gets sick later, he blames it on all his airline travel so's not to hurt your feelings.

Uncle Jimbo has the patience of a saint--even if you ask him 100 times to read you Harry the Dirty Dog, he will stay 5 hrs at your house during his one single week home to MN and read you Harry the Dirty Dog, with great enthusiasm.

Even though Uncle Jimbo lives far away, and we only get to see him about twice a year, he is always just a phonecall or email or letter away, even if all Toe wants to say is, "Uncle Jim, I really like rootbeer bubbles! Do you like rootbeer bubbles?" while Roo stands in the background screaming, "Junkle Jim! Junkle Jim!"

It's only been a day, Uncle Jimbo, and we miss you already.

Add Comment

Our Autism Odyssey: on the spectrum of joy

12/29/2010

0 Comments

'Kathy Bolduc invites us into the concrete, messy, detailed, and often colorful experiences of life with Joel, her son with autism. She shares her stories, and then lets us see the ways her questions, faith, hopes, and, finally, love, left her open to finding and seeing God in the places, events, and relationships where she, and we the readers, might least expect.' -- Bill Gaventa, MDiv, Editor, Journal of Religion, Disability and Health

I think it's pretty obvious God meant for us to be lifetime learners. Learning more about him, about his word and what he wants for us, about each other, becoming better and more compassionate people, spouses, parents, servants. Discovering more every day about the world he designed for us, about the gifts and abilities he gave us and how to use them. There's so much to learn and understand in this life sometimes I think I will run screaming into oblivion where my overburdened head will finally and inevitably explode. (Some of us he gifted with patience and moderation in all things--others, not so much). It's days like those I thank God he made my head so big.

When you are an autism parent, there is an exponential effect to importance of constant learning. Every day there are new theories, new treatments, new tools for your child to try to improve his life, newly suggested answers to the mysterious questions of a disorder so dumbfouding its awareness symbol is a jigsaw puzzle. So much is studied, written, and engineered on a continual basis--and sometimes at such a brisk clip---you want to run screaming...well, you get me. There is also--as with any child--always so much to learn about your changing child, his developing personhood and intellect, his needs and special gifts.

Autism? Yep, there are some apps for that!

One of the big recent developments in autism therapy tools is the emergence of software for ASD kids. These are almost exclusively MAC applications, unfortunately (if you know me you know how I feel about MAC v. PC debate), but ASD parents I know who use them love them. Tom the Talking Cat is a fun app that has been shown to improve verbal ability and appropriate conversational response. A variety of Applied Behavioral Analysis applications (remember the Swedes? I think I would rather have an iPad in my house than them again!) are helping ASD kids with their visual needs for language development.

But tools and technology are just a small piece of the learning puzzle. Every ASD child has his place on a broad spectrum of idiocsyncratic special needs, and keeping on top of them is a dance we perfect every day. For example, can you imagine your child needing to be put under general anesthesia in Children's Hospital just for a teeth cleaning? Would you be able to dream of your kindergartener wearing tarmac-style earmuffs to drown out the noise of an everyday community setting? What if gluten or cow's milk or food additives or plastics had the ability to impact whether your child could sleep, cope, learn? Have you ever tried to reconcile your belief in a God of absolute good when your little boy can be terrified to tears by an unfriendly or confusing facial expression? Or wondered how God could so bless you with a gentle, polite child so full of humor and smart as a whip, who teaches you so much about what is important in this life?

Oh, LORD, I still have so much to learn about autism, about your plan and purposes, about my child, and about where we all belong on this spectrum of joy. In the new year give me the strength and the patience. And please, accordingly, expand my head.

Add Comment

Infested-Us 2010

12/27/2010

0 Comments

Hope you enjoyed (are enjoying still) your celebration of Christmas, Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Boxing Day, etc. I myself am adding a new "holiday" to the end-of-December miasma: Infested-Us. It cribs a little from the "Airing of Grievances" notion of Festivus, but with the added bonus of marking our traditional battle with infectious viruses and opportune bacteria of all kinds.

Infested-us is a multi-day and complex custom. Here's how it typically goes:

Thursday, December 23: They eldest male child in the home shall awaken his parents just past midnight with the cry, "Good Morning! I gotta puke!" Thus the festivities begin.

Friday, December 24: Raging fever shall be passed from member to member among families. Children and adults alike shall fast and deny themselves food, even in the presence of a great banquet. They shall worship at the alter of the bathroom, crying out to the LORD for salvation.

Saturday, December 25: The youngest male child shall ring in the bells of Christmas with the midnight bawl of "Help! Boogies boogies boogies!" This shall be followed by a great period of sleep-deprivation for the adults, and the consuming of balms, teas and popsicles.

Sunday, December 26: Carnival of the sneezes begins. The gift of lotion-treated facial tissues shall be exchanged.

Monday, December 27: The celebrants shall enter a great darkness, gathering together in the family bed for meditation of their suffering and the sharing of blankets.

Thus endeth Infested-Us.

Add Comment

O come, o come, Immanuel!

12/25/2010

0 Comments

Jehovah-raah The LORD who is my shephard
Jehovah-shalom The LORD who is my peace
Jehovah-rophe The LORD who heals me
Jehovah-nissi The LORD who is my banner, showing me the way...

Joy to the world that you came this day!

Add Comment

waiting for the just Claus

12/24/2010

0 Comments

I can just taste the adrenaline

I don't remember ever believing in Santa Claus. In my childhood home, we were so busy and excited and happy at Christmas, I gotta say Santa was kind of a non-issue. I mean, he was there, on the foil-wrapped chocolates and tree ornaments. We saw him on TV, etc., etc. He wasn't verboten or disspelled. We knew his whole story, the North Pole, the elves, the naughty list and sleigh of toys and magic reindeer (I always felt a pang of sadness for the way they bullied Rudolph, though--and never forgave the other deer just because they started treating Rudy better after they realized they could put his deformity to use for their own purposes. Santa should have stepped in a lot sooner, I think). Ho ho ho. Even as a child, I had no tolerance for the bullies in this world. Maybe that's why this became one of my favorite books of all time--or maybe it's partly because I had great love and respect for my teacher and friend, Ms. Bly.

Anyway, as kids we were allowed to go to the annual Mayor's free Xmas roundup they used to hold at the St. Paul Civic Center (now just dust under the Xcel) where Santa would make a grand entrance with singing Vegas show-girl style elves who gave every kid a rather large stocking of candy and trinkets. The Mayor of St. Paul emceed. Have you ever seen George Latimer dance with a chorus line of scantily dressed and busty elf-ho's? I have.

What my sibs and I were jazzed about instead of Santa:
1. Dad. Home. On Vacation. Two weeks! Dad was never home, and so for a whole 14 days we were out of our skins happy (Mom was too).
2. Tobogganing. Dad always took us on some radical dangerous xtreme tobaggoning trip. What else was he going to do with 14 days on his hands?
3. Mom's kitchen. For days and days it smelled good and produced delectable goodies we never had at any other time of year. Mom was cheerful (again, Dad) and sort of let the housework slide.
4. Cocktail parent. Mom and Dad never really drank, but when they did it was a hoot. Dad would make mom his famous Tom and Jerry batter and set her up in the evening with a hot mug of cheer. There's nothing like hearing your parents downstairs, laughing together, listening to Nat King Cole, when you are kid falling asleep. Pure joy.
5. The twinkle. Lying under the tree in the dark. Lighting the candles. Staring at the electric log in the ornate Victorian fireplace.
6. Visiting relatives and the hustle bustle of our house, since with 4 bedrooms and a couple of spare rooms it was usually the hub for the out-of-towners (including whatever military borhter was home on leave). There were a lot of conversations about snowmobiles, driving conditions, what was happening in the Med.

This is the first year Toe and Roo are really grooving on old Red Fatty coming by with gifts. Using the threat of the naughty list has been a nice little bonus for Mommy--let's just say it's been easier to achieve pre-K compliance around here lately. Their endurance and waiting for big S. has also sparked an increased bortherly bond between Toe and Roo that we haven't seen before. They are discussing the issue with seriousness and regularity, in hushed tones. It's their first attempt at parent-free plotting.

Here is a sampling of the Santa-based convos we have overheard between the boys:

Toe: No, the North Pole is far.
Roo: Whereda norf pole? I go to da norf pole.
Toe: You have to go over mountians and through forests and across a frozen lake.
Roo: Ohhhh.

Roo: It's my turn!
Toe: No, it's not your turn yet, Reuben!
Roo: Gimme it!
Toe: Reuben, you have to be good. Do you want Santa to bring you a dinosaur?
Roo: Yesh.
Toe: If you are good and wait your turn, Santa will bring you a dinosaur.
Roo: (sigh). Okay.

Wishing you joy in your own memories. Merry Christmas Eve!

Add Comment

elving

12/21/2010

0 Comments

LEGO dreamin'

'Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the house...we were just goofing off and getting ready for all the big fun. Baking, wrapping, crafting gifts, cuddling, shopping, visiting, wishing, playing, eating, decorating, livingroom caroling, grooving to Bing Crosby, watching the Christmas Canon of holiday movies, reading by the faux fire, talking 'bout baby Jesus (whom Roo still calls "beebee Jeevus"). Apparently this sort of Christmas prep has a name, "elving" (which I learned by reading Amy's blog who passed it on from Mama Soule), but mostly I feel more like an overgrown dwarf than elf, per se.

One highly anticipated part of elving we missed was the big lunar eclipse (due to snow, of course, which we felt at Christmas was a worthy price), but we did have fun looking at these amazing photos of the event--including Santa wrapping up the moon in bright red paper, just for Xmas! Awesome, Santa!

preparing the secret 5 cheese, 6 herb blend for my obligatory Braun Xmas Eve lasagnes

not to step on James Lileks' blog, but I WON'T be making anything from pg. 377 of my 1970 Betty Crocker cookbook

gift wrap break dancing

tinkering with new toys (thanks, Uncle P. and Tante Lynn!)

unusual kids mean unusual sugar cookie shape requests; Toe: 'Happy New year Clocks' (pictured) and Roo: 'Beebee mooses' (still under construction)

Today's elving to-do includes baking honey-glazed pumpkin bread for the Adult Sibs of Dead Parents dinner on Friday and
gifting Hub his favorite annual blow to the arteries called "Chocolate Toffee Shortbread." Also, making mini bird-feeders with pinecones, peanut butter and sunflower seeds, then "strobelight bowling."

Whatever you dwarves--I mean, elves--are out there doing to merry yourselves for the holidays, we wish you joy to your world!

Add Comment

Storm Warning

12/20/2010

0 Comments

This blog post has been canceled on account of....

______________________________(please enter any valid excuse for wanting to avoid your responsiblities on another snowy, blustery, impending holiday cookies to make football I dont give a rat's tiny Monday). Thank you.
~The Management

Add Comment

Fa la la la blah...

12/19/2010

0 Comments

'Mommy' in no. 2 pencil on recycled insurance form

Roo scribbled out this portrait of me today, and I have to tell you he captured me exactly. Down to the je ne sais qoi. Now bear in mind, he created this portrait with his non-dominant hand (his right hand was busy helping his mouth chipmunk a popcorn ball), hurriedly, while balancing (pantless and one-legged) on a step stool in order to reach the desk in a darkened off-limits room. That's Roo. That's just how he rolls.

Note that my head is somewhat triangular--or at least has a notable protruberance (which I assume can only be an imminent tumor I haven't myself yet noticed). My eyes are like eternal teardrops, my nose collapsing like into my mouth like an icicle into a stalagtite cavern. I have some sort of rash. My hair appears electrified. I don't know what's sticking out of my right cheek (corncob pipe?) or hanging from my chin (goat whiskers?), but I hesitate to ask. Best to let the impressionist artist have some distance and preserve his mystery.

Add Comment

Our Autism Odyssey: the littlest bookworm

12/17/2010

2 Comments

a little shaky about shaking hands with the Vice Principle

Yesterday was a big day for Toe in the Garden of Children. He recieved a major honor for "Excellence in Literary Achievement" at the Battle Creek Elementary School awards assembly. Way to go Toe, who has read more books at a higher reading level than any other kindergartener in the whole school!

small genius in a big pond

Despite Toe's excitement and boost in 5 yr old self-esteem ("I deserve to get a Pepsi now--I achieved excellence!), standing on stage in a crowded gymnasium with the whole school looking on was a bit of a challenge for a sensory-overloaded little critter. The overwheming crush of people, movement, and noise show in his tentative smile.

I can't hear yooooooo!

Lucky for Toe, the autism team at Battle Creek is all over it. With a reassuring squeeze from assistant teacher Miss Laura and a pair of comfy noise-canceling headphones, Toe was able to deal and wait for his big moment. Knowing it's his last day of school before Christmas Vacation also helped steel his wool and put a jig in his step, too, I think.